雨天

今晚是我回来这里的第一个雨天，

这样的天气，

让我不知不觉的想起了许许多多的事。

在这个夜里，

我听着孙燕姿的“雨天”，

不断的在想起信息里的那些对白，

想着到底是真的，

还是假的，

在地球另一端的你，

是否也在想念着我，

托着这一场雨，

来传达对我的思念。

躺在自己的床上，

念着“波西杰克森”的小说，

让我不知不觉的投入了这部小说的故事里，

有一种想要逃离现实的感觉。

12点12分，

就这样，

踏入了2010年的12月的第一天。

现在的我，

还是一样的胡思乱想。

The End

Every story will start from a beginning and end up with a ending.

But.....not every story come with happy ending. Anyone support this statement? Well, at least I do support it for myself. As I mention before, this semester brought me a lot of life-time's experience. A popular physic said that our life will having a big change in every ten years. When I was ten, something sad happen; During I was twenty......erm, I learnt a lot of lessons. And ten years after that, I have no idea what is going to happen soon and perhaps it does not come with something tragedy.

The story of my semester five is end up with my last exam yesterday morning. The last exam brought me a lot of stress and also brought me surprise. 9 hours from now, I will going to step into my flight and back to my hometown to enjoy my holidays about 5 weeks. And how I gonna spends my time wisely? Yeah, a good question that I ask for myself before every holiday and end up with something surprise. So this time I'm not gonna plan anything and just let things come naturally.

This semester I also found out something unusual, or maybe is because of relationship or a word called "love" again, cause people around me just like step into disco and listen to Flo Rida's song "right round". Ya, no doubt that love will makes people turning around and confusing. And one of my friend also been this situation before.

I know is hard for you to accept this kind of advice from me, and I know what is the feeling when your relationship is not been bless by the friends around you, at least I earned that before but at least I didn't cross the line and carry my responsible as what I should be. And this is the different between me and him, sorry about the words that might hurt you just now, but trust me, all of us don't want to see you suffer in this kind of uncertain relationship that you even doubt by yourself.

I know everyone should deserve a chance, but what you provide already become dozen. In this situation, I don't think that person realize the important of his promise. I know is hard for you to meet the one, but trust me, someone still waiting from you, and of course, is not me.

Stories will end in different types and the path you choose in the middle of the stories bring you to the different ending. In our life, we are the only writer for our stories, so think carefully before you choose every path and choice that you see, especially love even sometime it makes people blind, so that you can have your own happy ending in your stories^^

Wrong or right? Ignore or accept?

Few days ago, I was totally down.....like downstream.....well, kinda rubbish but at least I have overcome all of those stuff which makes me got mind suffering for at least few days.

Yesterday, I was having a chat with Kajjly, my idiotic none biological sister. Something she came out that doesn't make me so surprise. She told me that when she wanna forget a person that she couldn't forget, she will try to erase all those things which is related to the person that she wanna forget. Just like try to ignore that person's appearance. Wow.....kinda cruel but she said at least it does work for her.

In my opinion, is true that I have did those thing that she mention before, and thats why it does not bring me any surprise. But after a long period, you will think that what you done before is kinda like useless. Because once you try to forget something that already link in your memories, only times can help you to forget something. At least I did it once since I was in form 5.

Even sometimes what you did maybe will be judge by others. I means sure will judge by others. But don give a damn to those who judge you without any consideration because they don even know our pain, especially in the relationship's matter. Someone told me that there are no true or false and right or wrong in love, so don't care about what people said about, just follow your head^^

Same as yesterday, during when I chat with someone, my idea or theme have caused someone laugh none stop until she sleep. Kinda guilty because she think that my topic cause her forgot all those things that she have studied for her exam just now. But hopefully she will doing well in her exam too^^ Well, just want to say that I'm not selfish, k? haha~

Tomorrow will be my last day for this semester 5. When I flash back all the memories I got for this semester, I appreciate those memories. Because I been through a lot of unforgotten experiences in this semester. Hehe.....believe it or not, no matter is sad or happy, I will like to thanks to those who played the character in my memories, thanks^^

And tomorrow also will be my last paper for my exam, to those who take the same paper with me, good luck for both of us. And to those who going to struggle this exam life for next week, well, I going to enjoy my holiday first and also a good luck for you all^^ Short to say, Happy holidays and see you all in next semester except to those who going to practical( please don get insane when we meet again^^ )

No matter is wrong or right, ignore or accept something, just need to remember that we live for our own and also for the person we care^^

I already be usual......

Once again, I lost my faith to myself.

I don't know who should I rely in this moment. Perhaps in this blog I can post and shout out loud.... Kinda sad and tire to trust and believe people. I really tire..... every path I choose will end up alone to face all kind of situation.

People will said that I must be honest to them even in what situation because they will get my back. But, this time I don't have anyone to help. Or more details, some pick to not involve in this game and some I choose not to tell. In the end, I still have to face it and keep it alone.

I can't blame anyone because this is the path I choose, sometimes I will rather to be silent compare more than telling the truth when other ask. You know why? Because when you telling the truth and they can't accept, they will use different words to shot you back. I can accept it from others, but not from my family members because it really hurts.

Become honest is a difficult path for me. I learnt a lesson before and it cause me lost something was important for me. And you all give me faith to trust that again, but in the end, you turn it into a scar, a deep scar....what should I say? A thank you because I didn't learn that lesson I been through before and you remind me about that? Oh, THANK YOU!

Start from now, don't try to hope that I will starts to be honest anymore. Because I don't even know that I should do it or not. I accept you apologize, but mine, is up to you want to accept it or not, because as I said, I already been usual.......