Stress

Life is a weird thing. Especially in my life. I kinda confidence when I face a lots of stress, no matter in working or relationship. In mentally, I always tell myself that screw those all negative particle out of my mind so that I could be happy, but in physically, I guess my body keep on telling me that "dude, don't cheat yourself, stress already growth many fucking roots in your body and I bet that you can't cure it no matter how". Unfortunately, I guess he won the bet because I hear the melody of sickness.

Pathetic for myself, I know how important to sound it out if you really know that stress in haunting you, even I keep on telling my family members, friends and students so that it will make it better. But I can't practical that in my life because I know how much stress they carry and I might make affect others when they know my stress. And it might make them more suffering and feel hopeless in their life. So I choose to be silents and more understanding. I try to cheer myself by rewarding myself and mix with a lot of happy persons so that I will forget all those shits that happen on me. But is really hard because I know that people won't understand my situation, because what I want them to know is I just want them to be happy and always live in a good situation no matter how deep the shit we get into. 

People will not appreciate, maybe some will. But they will think that you just do some stupid thing and act like a hero. But try to think deeply, if I'm not going to be the hero that cure your stress and make you happy, then who is going to be that person? Is it mean that we all going to be sad and stress, start to doubt and put some angers on others people we care? I willing to drown myself in this dark water than to see all of you sad and angry because of the life.

Maybe the path I choose just too idiot or a no u-turn one way trip, but if you ask me to choose, I still going to choose this path instead of seeing people I couldn't runaway from the harm and sadness in their life. 

Perhaps I just want someone to agree or support me. And maybe understand me so that I still can carry myself. Now, I just want to runaway from this life. Maybe one day, alone and go for the place that I can rest my body and mind......