雨天

今晚是我回来这里的第一个雨天，

这样的天气，

让我不知不觉的想起了许许多多的事。

在这个夜里，

我听着孙燕姿的“雨天”，

不断的在想起信息里的那些对白，

想着到底是真的，

还是假的，

在地球另一端的你，

是否也在想念着我，

托着这一场雨，

来传达对我的思念。

躺在自己的床上，

念着“波西杰克森”的小说，

让我不知不觉的投入了这部小说的故事里，

有一种想要逃离现实的感觉。

12点12分，

就这样，

踏入了2010年的12月的第一天。

现在的我，

还是一样的胡思乱想。

The End

Every story will start from a beginning and end up with a ending.

But.....not every story come with happy ending. Anyone support this statement? Well, at least I do support it for myself. As I mention before, this semester brought me a lot of life-time's experience. A popular physic said that our life will having a big change in every ten years. When I was ten, something sad happen; During I was twenty......erm, I learnt a lot of lessons. And ten years after that, I have no idea what is going to happen soon and perhaps it does not come with something tragedy.

The story of my semester five is end up with my last exam yesterday morning. The last exam brought me a lot of stress and also brought me surprise. 9 hours from now, I will going to step into my flight and back to my hometown to enjoy my holidays about 5 weeks. And how I gonna spends my time wisely? Yeah, a good question that I ask for myself before every holiday and end up with something surprise. So this time I'm not gonna plan anything and just let things come naturally.

This semester I also found out something unusual, or maybe is because of relationship or a word called "love" again, cause people around me just like step into disco and listen to Flo Rida's song "right round". Ya, no doubt that love will makes people turning around and confusing. And one of my friend also been this situation before.

I know is hard for you to accept this kind of advice from me, and I know what is the feeling when your relationship is not been bless by the friends around you, at least I earned that before but at least I didn't cross the line and carry my responsible as what I should be. And this is the different between me and him, sorry about the words that might hurt you just now, but trust me, all of us don't want to see you suffer in this kind of uncertain relationship that you even doubt by yourself.

I know everyone should deserve a chance, but what you provide already become dozen. In this situation, I don't think that person realize the important of his promise. I know is hard for you to meet the one, but trust me, someone still waiting from you, and of course, is not me.

Stories will end in different types and the path you choose in the middle of the stories bring you to the different ending. In our life, we are the only writer for our stories, so think carefully before you choose every path and choice that you see, especially love even sometime it makes people blind, so that you can have your own happy ending in your stories^^

Wrong or right? Ignore or accept?

Few days ago, I was totally down.....like downstream.....well, kinda rubbish but at least I have overcome all of those stuff which makes me got mind suffering for at least few days.

Yesterday, I was having a chat with Kajjly, my idiotic none biological sister. Something she came out that doesn't make me so surprise. She told me that when she wanna forget a person that she couldn't forget, she will try to erase all those things which is related to the person that she wanna forget. Just like try to ignore that person's appearance. Wow.....kinda cruel but she said at least it does work for her.

In my opinion, is true that I have did those thing that she mention before, and thats why it does not bring me any surprise. But after a long period, you will think that what you done before is kinda like useless. Because once you try to forget something that already link in your memories, only times can help you to forget something. At least I did it once since I was in form 5.

Even sometimes what you did maybe will be judge by others. I means sure will judge by others. But don give a damn to those who judge you without any consideration because they don even know our pain, especially in the relationship's matter. Someone told me that there are no true or false and right or wrong in love, so don't care about what people said about, just follow your head^^

Same as yesterday, during when I chat with someone, my idea or theme have caused someone laugh none stop until she sleep. Kinda guilty because she think that my topic cause her forgot all those things that she have studied for her exam just now. But hopefully she will doing well in her exam too^^ Well, just want to say that I'm not selfish, k? haha~

Tomorrow will be my last day for this semester 5. When I flash back all the memories I got for this semester, I appreciate those memories. Because I been through a lot of unforgotten experiences in this semester. Hehe.....believe it or not, no matter is sad or happy, I will like to thanks to those who played the character in my memories, thanks^^

And tomorrow also will be my last paper for my exam, to those who take the same paper with me, good luck for both of us. And to those who going to struggle this exam life for next week, well, I going to enjoy my holiday first and also a good luck for you all^^ Short to say, Happy holidays and see you all in next semester except to those who going to practical( please don get insane when we meet again^^ )

No matter is wrong or right, ignore or accept something, just need to remember that we live for our own and also for the person we care^^

I already be usual......

Once again, I lost my faith to myself.

I don't know who should I rely in this moment. Perhaps in this blog I can post and shout out loud.... Kinda sad and tire to trust and believe people. I really tire..... every path I choose will end up alone to face all kind of situation.

People will said that I must be honest to them even in what situation because they will get my back. But, this time I don't have anyone to help. Or more details, some pick to not involve in this game and some I choose not to tell. In the end, I still have to face it and keep it alone.

I can't blame anyone because this is the path I choose, sometimes I will rather to be silent compare more than telling the truth when other ask. You know why? Because when you telling the truth and they can't accept, they will use different words to shot you back. I can accept it from others, but not from my family members because it really hurts.

Become honest is a difficult path for me. I learnt a lesson before and it cause me lost something was important for me. And you all give me faith to trust that again, but in the end, you turn it into a scar, a deep scar....what should I say? A thank you because I didn't learn that lesson I been through before and you remind me about that? Oh, THANK YOU!

Start from now, don't try to hope that I will starts to be honest anymore. Because I don't even know that I should do it or not. I accept you apologize, but mine, is up to you want to accept it or not, because as I said, I already been usual.......

Faith

This few days I think I quite suffer a lots. Even a small matter, people will always doubt that you might not honest or you just cheat them. Well, things can be usual in the end, because I been through all of these since I was in primary school and secondary school with some unfortunate events that happened to me. People will ask me in the end, "You're just thinking too much", but I'm not, and every times I just follow your demands, and when I complete it, you think that is what I have to do; but when I failed it, you people will judge me that I am a failure bla bla bla with the things like that.

Not everyone is perfect in this world, even from the other worlds, if you can find me a perfect person, ok, I will apologize to you in the media! God create us in the few pieces lost because he want us to unite to become perfect, but all of you have misunderstood his will. I understand that people hurting each others just because they want to protect themselves, well, I admit I also did that before, but at least not every time, and I still put my faith on the persons I trust, care, love and respect.

Things will getting complicate when you try to put your faith on someone. You can see that in the end of the faith, a lot of negative issues will appear like when you play Pocket Monster, a lot of low level monster will appear=.=lll, is that a good example? Erm, whatever......you see, the point in this statement is event you try to be kind to them, but they turn your kindness into a piece of rubbish. Even some of them will be different but the amount will be more to the less.

Like when you know something from others but not from that person, they will say:

You didn't ask, of course I didn't say! If you want to know, ask by yourself la!!!( normally in M'sia English will end with "la")

But when you ask, they will answer you like:

Nothing, you go to ask that person.....@#$%^

Come on, who's fault in the end? Well, I can ensure that it will 100% turn into my fault. Sounds like a tragedy for you all, but is an usual situation for me. And during that time, I starts to lost my faith on you. And you people will starts blaming me.

As a conclusion, I don't know I should be honest or not in the end of the story. But I will still keep my promise to someone that I promise before because I put my faith on you, so please prove to me that what I doing now is worth. I don't want you provide me a lot of thing, what I demand for, is just a trust and a faith......

倒数开始～

开始进入倒数了，就在下个星期六，我将会离开这里，回到属于我的地方了！！

不知不觉，我已经快要完成我第五个学期了。第五个学期，感触良多。做了很多的事，也让自己忙到不像人。不过，幸好自己熬过了这个难熬的学期，让我觉得在这间大学里，这个学期算得上是最有意义的一个学期。

再过一个星期，就要开始我的第一张试卷。但重点却是我还没开始温习，反而去开始另一张，也就是最后一张试卷。我不能否认，每次在我有动力的时候，我却失去了体力。就像昨天我病倒了，在今天病好了。而我的动力，也跟着我的病毒一起消失了！！所以，我只能恨自己是个懒惰虫。

明天是公共假期，基本上对我也没什么影响，因为我已经放了两个多星期的假期，还差点忘记了外面世界的时间。感谢让我假期那么久的大学，除了你，我再也找不到别的大学会有那么多的色彩！！也感谢你让我度过了那么“美好”的回忆。

也要感谢家里的“internet”，因为你的脾气，让我痛苦了几天！！还让我必须在外面才能上网，十分的好啊！！！！不过算了吧，等我挨到下个星期六，我就可以回到属于我自己的地方了！！！加油吧～

Motivation=Sick

Motivation always bring me illness when I started my study as a university student.

Unlike my high school's life.

Today,

this situation appear again......

回忆从前2

这篇文章，其实是和之前一篇没什么差别，也是在诉说着我现在的心情，而唯一的差别，就是经验和遭遇。就像我在之前所说的，我们无法改变一些已被改变的事，唯一能做到的，就是坚持自己的信念。

现在的我，是一名大学生。相比起从前，我还是比较喜欢从前，不需要选择科系，简简单单的念完学校所安排的科目就好了。但现在却不同，我们会一直面临选择。假设选的不好，就会开始后悔。回想当我刚念完中六时，就面临了许许多多的选择。这件事，让我面临了许许多多的压力，导致我在一段时间里自甘堕落，尤其是来自亲戚们的压力，让我开始讨厌自己的亲人。

但是现在回想起来，那个时候，其实父母亲都没给我任何压力。他们只是担心我的未来，也顾虑到了我的心情。那个时候，他们都没过问我要选择什么科系，只是希望我能够读到自己想要的。爸妈，我选择了教育系，虽然这并不是我想的，但我还是会很努力的走下去。因为我不想要你们失望。我要让你们感到骄傲，我在这里是学到有点坏，但请你们相信我，我不会走错路，更不让你们失望。也要谢谢你们让我选择这条路，谢谢你们。

我相信大家都会觉得选择是件很难的事。对，真的是很难。但是我们还是必须面对。当我们面对困难和选择的时候，身边的人往往会七嘴八舌的给了许许多多的意见，无论是好是坏，只要他们觉得对的，就会噼里啪啦的说了出来，让我们更加的烦躁。其实这个时候的我们，可以选择不去听，因为是我们的道路，不需要他们来开拓。所以只要坚持着自己的信念，那么该属于你自己的道路，就会出现在你的面前。而你的父母，将会是你最忠实的支持者。

今天的我，不再是小孩子了。严格来说，是个大人了。我们不能老是依赖身边的亲人，适当的时候还是必须自己来。我想念从前，但是却回不去，唯一能做的，就是走出自己的道路。

这两个晚上，我一直回味着过去的日子，也经历了许许多多的感触，我哭了，也笑了，更生气了，也开始懂了。现在的我，不是昨天的江先宝，我不可以一直活在从前。所以我要努力的活下去，让自己的人生充满了色彩。也让看着我的人，不会失望。

就让我们大家一起加油吧^^

回忆从前

昨天晚上，在面子书上看到了一位朋友写了一些东西，让我想起了那段在中学时代的故事。

中学的我，其实所留下来的回忆并不是很多。就像是初恋，短短的一年，却因为自己的愚蠢而断送掉了这一段感情，也内疚了将近三年。不过想想看，也因为这样子，发现到了身边的人所带有的真面目；也发现了所谓的好朋友。

在中四和中五的时候，唯一可以觉得好笑的事，就是到小学对面的小商店去吃雪糕。那些日子里，只要到了放学的时间，就会与春荣和彦尹到那边吃Magnum雪糕，然后聊天聊到忘记时间，一直到两点才回家。

在中五的时候，也学会了去图书馆温习功课，尤其是靠近SPM的时候，连学校都不去上了。那个时候的我们，都会把我们大半天的时间捐给了图书馆，每天对着那些书，从早上一直到晚上，也认识了一些鸟人。记得那个时候，我和春荣只要一闷的时候，就会到图书馆的湖边去喂鱼。还会在那里搞笑一番，把少林足球里搞笑的画面都搬了出来。

上了中六，生后就渐渐的开始改变，我们已不再是从前的我们。所有人都选择了自己的道路前进，渐渐的产生了意见不合而误会，也发现到了现实生活中的残酷。直到从前那几个三不五时混在一起的年轻人，都渐渐的减少了，剩下自己一人。

在每个人的生活里，都会面临不一样的改变。就像是从前我们常去的小商店，现在已变成了一片空地，而从前常去的篮球场，也变成了小学的私人篮球场。

我们无法阻止生活中的改变，因为这是必然的。唯一可相信的，就是无论身边的环境经历过了多么多的改变，唯一不变的就是友情和回忆。

HaPpY BiRtHDaY

happy 21st birthday to my junior,

hopefully you life will fulfill with a lot of happiness and great fortune~

无助

在过去短短的几天里，因为家里的Internet闹别扭，导致我在这几天里面临崩溃，和外界差点就失去了联系。幸亏今天中午，所有的问题都解决了，让我能再次恢复到原本的生活，真的是可喜可贺~~

在这短短的几天里，发现了网络在我现今的生活里占领了很大的地位，尤其是一个人的时候，还真的是需要它来解闷。由于这几天都没有什么人在家里，再加上脚踝受伤，有点行动不便，只好在家吃饱就睡，睡饱就吃，没救了~不过也要感谢某个人，因为陪我吵吵闹闹，也乱想东西，让我不会觉得闷，谢谢你^^

吃饱没事做的感觉，简直是差到极点。但也没办法，情势所逼~不过现在再也不用受这样的苦了，也算是一件好事。我深深地感受到了所谓的无助。这种无助并不是每人肯伸出援手，而是别人肯伸出援手，却助不到你。

Downstream

The mood I having here now is just like a downstream, or maybe can consider as waterfall. I don't have any idea what I'm thinking now. Perhaps someone will point me an arrow to show me the right way, like the future Clark Kent told the present Clark Kent what should he do to reach the right way(Smallville).

Tonight, I might be a little bit over reacting. Is it my fault or her fault? I have totally no idea about it. I blaming her because she tread my serious as a joke. Honestly, I hate people do this to me. Even if that person is someone who close to me, is also hard for me to accept this kind of joke. But I also can't blame that person because I never told her about that. So, who should I blame? In the end, I'm still be the one who done this mistaken. No doubt, I kinda small gas, but everyone have their own weakness, maybe this is mine.

I'm sorry if I act rude just now. Seriously, I'm okay here. Perhaps next time we all might pick the correct timing to joke. I accept your apologize, hopefully you will do the same thing on me.

坏事~？

最近，身边的都可以一直听到不好的消息。除了我自己的受伤（我觉得是报应）之外，就是朋友的车出了车祸，还是生病，有人吵架了，或是淹水之类的。这些都不是很好的事，也让我觉得好难受。

假期才不到一个星期，就听到了那么多事。让我自己都觉得这个世界真的是太恐怖了。幸亏在几天前，这间屋子只留下了我自己，让我能够好好的整理一下自己的情绪，也好好的为自己的下一步做出打算。

想想看，我在这里的日子其实也只剩下两年。前天晚上，小姨也有托老妈寄来了一个问候，问候我是否已为自己的未来做出怎样的打算了。其实我还不知道，我真的不懂自己是否能够容身于教育界里。在这个学期里，其实我真的不了解我到底学了些什么。难道这样的我，真的适合当老师吗？

其实未来的日子如何，我还是没有任何头绪。我知道，身为家里的独身子，责任是非常重大的。虽然家人都没有对我做出任何要求，但是我还是会觉得很愧疚。所以我觉得完成学业的第一件事，就是要出来社会赚钱，让他们两人能够多休息。

假期的第一个星期，还是很闷。但是谢谢朋友常来陪我聊天，也谢谢某某人的陪伴（如果不说她就要闹别扭和敷衍我了），更谢谢家人的关怀。还有，恭喜何吉龙先生和黄莉媚小姐在昨天结婚了，祝你们白头偕老，天天开心。假期的第五天，也是屠妖节，祝大家屠妖节快乐。

在这，我还是想说，只要人平安无事；只要互相了解；只要别逼急自己；只要懂得自我满足，就算接下来会发生再坏的事，只要你能够做到这些，那么有收获的，还是你自己。大家一起加油吧~~~^^

不吉利的开始

十一月的到来，对我来说去不是一个好的月份。因为在今年的十一月的第一天我的脚踝再次的面临伤害。就这样，我再次恢复到了伤残人士，过着那种以一支脚过日子的人。这件事情的发生，其实怪不的别人，因为是自己的粗心大意所引发出来的事故。所以只能在这三个星期里慢慢的在家休养，一直到回家为止。

不知不觉，十月已经结束了。还记得上个月的我，还在为自己的功课拼命，而现在呢？就在这里享受着假期。看着自己家里的人都有他们的节目，其实也觉得有点寂寞。不过凡事都有例外吧。以我这种孤僻的性格，其实这也是一种享受。在加上还有三只小白兔的陪伴，也不至于闷到发慌。

十一月，算是我在第五个学期的尾声。虽然这个月份的开始让我受了重伤，但也不至于讨厌。唯有在接下来的日子里，好好的面对接下来的难题，凡事都要细心，希望能够顶到回家的那一天~~