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Monday, November 22, 2010

I already be usual......

Once again, I lost my faith to myself.

I don't know who should I rely in this moment. Perhaps in this blog I can post and shout out loud.... Kinda sad and tire to trust and believe people. I really tire..... every path I choose will end up alone to face all kind of situation.

People will said that I must be honest to them even in what situation because they will get my back. But, this time I don't have anyone to help. Or more details, some pick to not involve in this game and some I choose not to tell. In the end, I still have to face it and keep it alone.

I can't blame anyone because this is the path I choose, sometimes I will rather to be silent compare more than telling the truth when other ask. You know why? Because when you telling the truth and they can't accept, they will use different words to shot you back. I can accept it from others, but not from my family members because it really hurts.

Become honest is a difficult path for me. I learnt a lesson before and it cause me lost something was important for me. And you all give me faith to trust that again, but in the end, you turn it into a scar, a deep scar....what should I say? A thank you because I didn't learn that lesson I been through before and you remind me about that? Oh, THANK YOU!

Start from now, don't try to hope that I will starts to be honest anymore. Because I don't even know that I should do it or not. I accept you apologize, but mine, is up to you want to accept it or not, because as I said, I already been usual.......

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