Know myself

One thing I think funny about myself is that I never try to know myself. Why I said so? Is easy, because I never know why emotion can't be control. Or if explain in another way, I should said that I don't have any idea about what am I thinking now, and why I sad, and what I sad for? Just like when you won a basketball match, and you don't know what is your position in the match, and didn't do anything for your team, but the called you as a most valuable player of the match.

The statement above might lead you to another stage of confusion. If that situation appear, don't blame yourself because can't understand what I wrote, because is very hard for me to understand what I wrote above too. Maybe just like what I said just now, is hard to understand ourselves compare to understand other person. Maybe in the reality, we always put the mask on our face to avoid others look through our heart and avoid ourselves from hurting by others person.

Tonight, I have no idea what I upset for, what I disappoint for, and what I care for. A girl who close to me have ask me why I sad, is it I'm feeling lonely? Maybe......but I don't know......I try to makes myself honest to some of you, especially to those I have promise to, but the point is, I don't know what should I honest to you all while I don't even understand myself now.

I love to sing, especially when I try to runaway from the feeling that could push me to the edge of sadness, moody or some negative emotion. Thanks to my friend for his guitar and play music for me, I have a chance to sing out loud and discard my the dark side of me.

Is really hard to know myself.